A place called Baku...(Part 2: A peek at the Caspian Sea)

As we crossed the main square where the statue of a man killing a dragon stands, which reminds me of Greek gods…the vastness of the blue sky reflected in the voluptuous waves of the Caspian made me gasp! It was plain and simple beautiful….

This was the Bay of Baku in the Caspian….with the entire city lining the bay.…

Numerous ships dotted the waters….and looked the size of small boats…

The lovely benches… and green trees… and small cafes ....around the area just added to the scenic beauty of the place…

Several couples were necking around the place….as if compelled by the romantic air in the wind….

A cafe styled just like the smaller version of the Opera House of Sydney ....was filled with people...

My camera couldn’t get enough…and kept asking for more…

Looking around with a content smile, I was convinced for the umpteenth time that it is not the snow-peaked mountains nor the lovely sand dunes of the desert or the vast plain terrain of trees that does this to me….makes me have this feeling ….like the feeling of falling in love ….when you start smiling for no reason at all…and suddenly the world feels like a merry-go-round…which intoxicates you and makes you giggle as it takes you for a joy ride!

Whenever I see these water waves, hear the still sound of the sea, breathe in the salty wetness…I feel my heart bursting with joy and a strange freedom….

With my hair flowing all around me, I inhaled the salty-fresh smell of the sea…and looked into the waters and said, “Hello! Do you recognize me?....I am the same little girl …who many years ago …had splashed in your waters…played with her friends…collected your shells….even fished with the elders…and sailed in a boat…in another part of the world….which you inhabit? Can you recall?”

A place called Baku…(Part 1)

How would you feel if you live above an Armani, Mont Blanc or a Burberry showroom? Or if you woke up and opened your window and caught a glimpse of the President of the country stretching in the window opposite yours? Or if you cross the main city square and climb down five steps…you are suddenly faced with the salty wind of the wide Caspian Sea…?

My first days in Baku were filled with pleasant surprises.

As I sat nibbling at my sandwich on a comfortable bench in a beautiful park, looking at the lovely fountain in front of me… the cool wind playing havoc with my hair… I recalled the reply I had got from the embassy official when I had asked how much they charge for a tourist visa…."We don’t have tourist visa!"

I really wonder why….
This place has so much to offer …with its winding streets, cobbled pavements and tall trees…The picturesque squares, the amazing Roman architecture …that nicely blends with modern constructions…

The city at night is even lovelier and more vibrant...the wonderful lighting (of the sort we see only at India Gate) lights the entire city...giving it a stage-like romantic look...

As I looked through my camera …for more catchy shots, I noticed a long and winding wall…that went around the entire one part of the city…I clicked a snap…and asked my colleagues about it…

"Oh that! It is the old city wall… behind the wall there is the entire city… which is untouched by modernization totally….! Don’t go there alone, you will get lost or mugged!" I am told.

The thought thrills me, sending a chill down my spine! With a twinkle in my eye, I start planning the visit to the walled city….

Lost opportunities or smart choices?

What happens when at a point in life, you are faced with a situation that has two solutions….one that requires you to listen to your heart and move according to your emotions and the other that wants you to use your brain and act practically?

If you move forward and give in to your heart…you might be happy for the rest of your life…and experience things that you have always dreamed of …but the happiness has strings attached to it…and can make you face:
• Temporary joy...and then remorse
• Criticism
• Unhappiness for people you care about
• Unfulfilled expectations
• No option to turn back

While if you listen to your brain…you will get out of the situation and continue with your life as before…regretting of not having the courage to experience your dreams for as long as you live.

A difficult situation….but which most of us often face in our lives…as different circumstances surround us…and the matter of what you give priority in life to…comes in effect….
Your feelings…your commitments…your dreams…your ambitions…your beloveds' happiness…your morals…your ideals…or your goals?

Some acknowledge when they face such situations and think hard and easily select one of the two paths…
Some are not even adventurous enough to want to face such a situation and avoid it with all their might…
While there are others who resort to a two-way solution..where you want to sail in both the boats….the balancing act on which can either drown you finally….or force you to jump in one of the boats just before capsizing….

Though it depends from situation to situation….it is easy to categorize oneself on a broad level…

Which one of these people are you?

Deja Vu

I have been here before...exactly at this location...exactly at this point...probably even experienced the same feelings of exhilaration and joy...as I was feeling now...by looking at the lovely lake surrounded by lovelier trees...

This is the resort...a friend had recommended...and I had instantly fallen in love with the snaps on their website and booked it in a go!!

But now as soon as I had gotten out of their pickup car...and walked up the porch...I had a Deja Vu....

Practically I had never been here before...all this was new...unseen...

Yet it seemed vaguely familiar....and exciting.

As these thoughts raced in my mind...I clutched at my hand bag and moved forward....

The lovely cottage that the website promised...looked even prettier than before...the door almost hidden by the lovely pink flowers...the names of which I never remembered!!

The entire resort was a feast to the eyes and a peace to the mind...

Sun glittered in the lake...as a family of ducks parked near the pink and while flower bushes on the side...the scene looked like a movie shot...right out of paradise...there was a serenity in the air...a calmness...that I had forgotten about since moving to the big city...

Inhaling the fresh air into my lungs forcefully...I stopped in my reverie...as a familiar pang of excitement struck me again...Looking around...I tried to find a clue to these strange feelings...

My eyes stopped at the man standing with the black umbrella clutched under his armpit...looking towards the lake....I suddenly knew that he would turn around and address me...I don't know how I knew...but somehow I did...

I moved forward slowly as if in a trance...keeping an eye on the man with the umbrella...

As I had thought ...he turned out and without seeming surprised to see me...nodded to me and said: Sometimes it takes only a while to realize what your life has been, whereas sometimes...it takes a life time...and you still don't realize. Saying these words in a baritone voice, he turned back to looking at the lake ..as if I was not there at all.

I stopped dead in my tracks...wondering if he had addressed me or someone else...or maybe he had just talked to himself...

In my heart, I knew that he had addressed me...just as I had known that he would turn around and talk to me ...

But how had he known my frame of mind...to have said something like that???

I moved ahead...feeling excited and curious...and called out to him...addressing him as: Sir...

The man turned...this time with astonishment written all over his face...and said: Are you calling me, "Sir"???

A little flustered at this unexpected question....I faltered and muttered: Yes, is there a problem?

Astonishment turned to amusement...and then to laughter...as the man started laughing loudly and then almost uncontrollably....all the time looking at me with his twinkling eyes...

Feeling uncomfortable and offended all of a sudden...I turned around and started towards the cottage with hurried steps...while behind me, I could hear the man laughing and laughing...

Reaching the cottage door, I grasped the handle and pulled open the door...

The lovely interiors...took my breath away and made me forget the eerie laughter that I had just fled from.

The cottage was in muted greens and pinks...and little white flowers adorned the mirror, the shelf, the bedside table...and the vase of the dining table...

I could see my luggage already inside the cottage...Sighing happily, I decided to freshen up...and took out a towel, a change of clothes ...and a clip to tie my hair up from my bag.

Pulling my hair up in a knot, I moved towards the mirror to clasp them with the clip....but the clip slipped out of my hand and my hair tumbled down on my shoulders...as I looked at myself in the mirror...

I could see the curtains of the window with the little embroidery in pink silk, the bedside table and the quaint little pink candle stand...I could even see the evening light peeping from the window....

But I, standing in front of the mirror, ...was not there.

Frozen with shock....I stood staring..

And slowly the man's laughter started drowning the loud thudding of my heart...

Why?

Have you ever thought why certain misfortunes keep occurring in some people's lives...and not in others?

Why do some people always have to face...some kind of problems in whatever they do...while there are others...who are known as "lucky"?

What does God think when he sketches the destinies of different humans?

Why are some privileged...some under-privileged...for no fault of theirs....but just because of their destinies...??

Everyone tries to live as best as they can...assuring themselves...that what they could not get, achieve, or what they lost...was destiny and they have no choice but to go on....

Some less courageous...attempt to end their lives...when they cant face a certain situation...

While others try to get to something that they want...through dishonest means...by tricking others...and ensuring that they face the destiny designed for them!

"Why" is the big question? That no one has an answer to. But unconsciously comes to every one's mind whenever you have to face an unjust tragedy...an unfair situation and unreasonable circumstances...

When the time decided to stop...

The tick-tick of the clock stopped suddenly...
I would not have really noticed the sound of the clock had I not been alone in the house ...reading in the silence...only the clock’s sound to lend me company.

Thinking that the batteries must have conked off....I took a deep sip from my coffee cup and flipped a page. Something made me look out of the window... I noticed that the wind had stopped blowing....even the trees that were swinging in the wind....were frozen in the positions that they had been in! The stray dog of the colony had stopped in its strides as if posing for a portrait...the still children in the park were looking at their ball in mid-air. Everything was stationary with a quiet stillness that I had only seen in movies or still photos!

Astonished, I stood up from my position and checked all my limbs...all seem to be working and moving....then what had happened here...? If I could move...why couldn’t the others? Confused and a bit scared, I helplessly looked around for a reason....is this doomsday...?? Did I do something that I am in this labyrinth? Is something going to happen that I am not aware of?

With the feeling that I am missing something drastically important, I decided to go and check on the other people....in the neighbourhood....Going out of the house, I pressed the bell of the apartment opposite to mine but no sound came...was there no electricity? But I could clearly see the light in the corridor...and in my own apartment....I tried my bell and there it went.... peeling loudly...making me jump out of my skin in the eerie silence surrounding me!

Why was it that everything that was mine was functioning ...while the rest of the world seems to have gone into a lull!!???

An idea struck me...and I rushed to switch on the TV...there to my shock.......the frozen images....kept changing...but only when I switched one channel after the other! All channels gone bad together?

Now I was really scared...what the hell was happening???? Was all this a big joke...was someone playing a prank on me!?? Or was this a divine intervention for paying me back for my sins??? Or had I gone crazy in the head??

Taking a deep breath....I sat down on the couch and tried to think what to do next...
I tried to recall if I had read or seen anything like this before...

Remembering Wells’ “Time Machine” that I had read in school...I also recalled many movies made on the same theme... But apart from a few scenes, in which people had travelled back and forth in time using the time machine....I couldn’t recall much......but what was happening here? There was no time machine...what did I have to do? What was the significance of all this? What am I expected to do?

I got up to tweak the hands of my clock...as I remembered people doing in movies...waiting for everything to go back in time miraculously and start moving!!! But still nothing happened....

Panicky and trying not to cry...I prayed hard for things to be normal again...but it seemed nothing was working....nothing was normal....or maybe I had become abnormal and was imagining all this??

Perplexed and helpless...I started pacing the room...thinking of my options...now that the world had literally stopped all around me...what was best possible in this scenario? What shall I do? Shall I read, write, pray, or go to sleep....could I ever fall asleep in such a situation!!! Was this going to last forever??

Questions raced in my mind….I picked up the book I was reading….went back to the coach and tried to concentrate on the printed words but everything blurred and I couldn't stop the tears of helplessness that started falling down my eyes…

Suddenly…I felt a strange stillness within myself…and I could hear my hear beat going thud-thud…and then missing a beat…and then almost vanishing…panicked …I tried to sit up but my feet, my back, my hands refused to move…as if they had been turned to stone….I could feel the tears that I had shed moments ago…turning hard on my cheeks...and not rolling anymore….

Oh! I thought…so its happening to me too…but then I started hearing the clock going tick-tick again….and I wanted to shout with joy…but couldn’t...the immobility had struck me...was it some sort of virus??

As I sat there like a stone…with the book clutched in my hand….and the pearls of tears sitting on my cheeks…I began noticing other sounds around me…yes, the children were shouting and playing again...and there...the dog was barking too...the images of my TV were moving again…a woman politician had attacked the microphone...of the speaker of the assembly and threw it as people ushered her out of door...I could even hear my neighbour's son shouting at his mother…

My cell phone started playing "Yeh Dooriyan"...my latest ring tone...and I just kept staring at my friend's number flashing on the screen paralysed....

Everything was back to normal...the only difference was...now I was the one for whom the time had stopped moving...

The Generation Gap

Today flipping through the newspaper and sipping the cool coffee at a coffee shop in the afternoon....sound of young giggles made me lower my paper and look up.

I saw a young girl and boy, dressed in school dress enter the coffee shop. As they stood at the counter ordering muffins, I amusedly thought...they must have stopped via their way home to take a bite before heading home...

The sight made me nostalgic for a while....as I remembered the good old school days when we used to walk home from school and often spend our pocket money on ice-creams and sundaes in summers...and dig into hot chocolate in winters!!

However, as they turned towards one of the tables...the girl's low slung short skirt caught my eye...winging on her hips as she cat-walked to the table. I looked over her and noticed the eyes highlighted by Kajal...and lips by gloss...her hair were cut in the latest Katrina style...and she was tossing them around quite adeptly!
The boy was tall and lanky... around 15-16 years of age...with new hairs covering his face...that had not yet grown so much that they could have been shaved...his school trousers was as also as low-slung as the girl's skirt... Smiling to myself, I remembered our plain grey tunics... that made us look like nuns!

Chiding myself for staring, I was about to go back to the newspaper...when I saw the boy's hand going around the girl's shoulder...In a minute, both were kissing...right there...in the coffee shop...among the crowded tables...with the muffin sitting on the table between them!

For a moment, I was shocked...not because I had never seen anyone kiss before...or have never kissed myself...!

I just couldn't believe that what I thought as an innocent muffin-eating visit...was aimed at something else ...and that at the age of 15-16?????

For even a person as liberal as me this sudden bold gesture by two school kids in public...was a bit too much...Its not that I never had crushes in school or never heard of such things going on..in school...but somehow...today's incident just shook me...

I couldn't stop myself from thinking about their parents...innocently waiting for them to return home from school...not really knowing ...what they are up to...

The girl's eye caught mine....and uncomfortably I looked away...even more surprised...that she looked so normal and quite comfortable...and not at all bothered about the looks that quite a number of people were giving both of them!
They just calmly tucked into the muffin...kissed once more, paid the bill, picked up their cell phones...and their school bags... and left the cafe, holding hands...

I was left thinking....have i turned into a conservative prude or is this what is called the Generation Gap?

Are you happy?

Rita and Seema were best friends since school....they sat on the same desk, ate from the same lunch box, read the same books, had crushes on the same type of guys, listened to same kind of music....and often spend the night at each other’s houses....talking into long hours of the night.

Both wanted to become engineers....and get into a high-profile company.

Needless to say like any two close friends...they also experienced their share of arguments tinged with shades of jealousy and fought over various issues....
But throughout .....their friendship remained....intact...at least till they grew up.

Both went to different colleges in different cities...but were in touch through lengthy hand-written letters that arrived...days after they had already shared any big or small news through STD calls...

While Rita had numerous boy friends in college...Seema was too idealistic to make boyfriends before “falling in true love”! Both continued to share the gossip about the various admirers they had in college and how they partied their weekends away!

This continued till the final year of college when suddenly Rita’s parents asked her to meet their friend’s son .... their prospective son-in-law! A few months later, an astonished Seema went to attend Rita’s engagement party. She was amazed at Rita for getting into an “arranged marriage” and couldn’t understand how she could have agreed to marry a rich businessman who was 6-7 years her senior....whom she hadn’t known before!

But when she saw Rita happily busy with her engagement preparations and her trousseau...she decided to only wish her the best.

Anuj was nice...friendly...and even had a good personality.....but.....he was definitely not one of the types that Rita and Seema had always seemed to like...

A few months later ....right after her engineering, Rita and Anuj got married...and a month later Rita happily called Seema to tell her about the “good news”. Trying to sound naturally happy for her, Seema congratulated her and for the first time in years....felt the distance between them....becoming wider and wider...

Seema couldn’t understand how could Rita give up all her dreams and aspirations and get married to some stranger....who belonged to a family of businessmen...where wives remain housewives...and mothers of their children for the rest of their lives...

Now years have passed....since that time....

Rita takes care of her husband’s extended family and her two children...and spends her free time in getting facials in beauty parlours, shopping at malls, and vacationing in Singapore and Bangkok.

Seema did get into a high-profile company...and is now head of one entire department of the company....She met her kind of a guy and fell in love....and had a “love-marriage” as she wanted...though sometimes....very rarely ...when she has a bit of respite from rushing between her hectic job, her child, her house....she can still glimpse the little ruminants of love that was once existed between her and her husband.

Both the friends meet once in a year...either at their children’s birthdays ...or in their summer vacations....

One such meeting happened recently...when they met at a coffee shop.

They talk and share stuff....while Seema talks about her office life and hectic schedule, Rita talkes about her leisure trips and shopping....

Soon the conversation starts facing long gaps of silence...where both assess each other silently....

While, looking at Rita’s manicured and painted nails and toes...Seema hides her own unpainted rough nails under the table and wonders...was all the hard-work really worth it?

Meanwhile, Rita thinks of Seema’s wonderful profile...and the confidence she seems to be oozing out while sitting in the coffee shop in her plain kurta, jeans and sandals. She hides her own flashy Malaysian sandals under the table...and wonders....where has her own personality disappeared?

Avoiding each other’s eyes...both keep talking of weather....of their children’s schools....and of latest movies.....till they can....but after a while....another long yet strange pause creeps slowly in....

Finally its time to leave....a bit reluctantly, a bit relieved...they bid each other goodbye....

The friends who could tell and ask each other anything in the world.... fail to ask each other the simple question that they long to know....

“Are you happy?”

Freedom of Speech...

One of the most important democratic elements of today's world!

Wars are fought, people are killed, governments are toppled...over this basic human right!

We - as part of today's mainstream society...and an integral ingredient of the country and world...often write thesis, analytical articles and debates defending this right...

But in a single day’s life...there are often situations and circumstances when we willingly disregard it....sometimes in workplaces because of fear of a stinker from the boss...sometimes at a gatherings because of fear of being ridiculed by friends....sometimes at home because of fear of hurting others... sometimes in our realtionships because of fear of rejection.... and even sometimes on roads, on public transports because of the fact that anyways you say will not matter anyways...

Strange but its very true...not only do we stiffle our own voices, opinions, thoughts and feelings....we often encourage our friends, our family and even our children to do the same....

You send the deliverables to the client...after exceededing your normal 8 hours of a day’s work ...because you don’t want your appraisal to be affected and the increment to be deducted... even if you keep cursing the boss and the company with all your hear!

You entertain people you don’t care a hoot about and ask them to extend their visit too...even if you feel like shouting “Get Lost” at them and throwing them out of your house!

You sound as shocked as your peers when they ridicule the latest escapade of the hot girl in office...even if you would like to be in her shoes!

You keep spending the warm nights of the summer tossing and turning in the noisy fan...running on the invertor...praying for the AC light to turn on!

You agree to get married...because you are expected to...even if you would rather live all your life alone...and then turn yours as well as someone else’s lives into a misery!

You keep working in a MNC as the high-profile Project Manager ....when you would rather be at home looking after your family and cooking snacks for your children....because you know that even thinking such a thing will be considered as blashphemy and ungratefulness!

The freedom lost..the power of speech gone...we into hypocrites... unfamiliar with our own eyes looking back at us from the mirror...

When every right thing seems wrong...

There are days when nothing seems right...
The first cup of tea turns out to be lukewarm!
The water in the bath is boiling from the sun outside!
The courier guy hands you the credit card bill as you are about to leave!
A man decides to fight with his wife while driving and bumps straight into another car...causing massive traffic jam on the way to office!
The darned office lift gets stuck and you have to climb six floors!
When you reach the office, huffing and puffing, you realize you left your cellphone in your car!
And last but not the least, the rest of your team decides to go on emergency leave together...leaving you to tackle the humongous workload!

Then there are also days...when all this is hardly noticeable....when you feel generally high on life...and nothing...not even a stinker from the boss ... has the capacity to spoil your day...Yes, indeed such days do exist...but their frequency is going down as the years pass...And when you see...someone...in this phase of life...you actually sit back and notice and feel envious...!

Is it to do with getting older and more experienced or more engrossed in day-to-day life...or is it the general attitude of some people to be Mast and follow the mantra of Chill, Chill, Just Chill!?

I sometimes wonder...if it is only me...or there are more like me....who face such situations???

A tryst with fate...

As I sniffed away my tears at the emotional memorial of the King of Pop and missed him more than ever on hearing others perform on his trademark songs...and dedicated the next day to him by hearing all my favorite Michael Jackson numbers...the vulnerability of human life once again occupied my thoughts...

Untimely deaths, sudden onslaught of incurable ailments, accidents, mishaps, unbearable circumstances....I am not a fatalist...but what else can you blame all of this on, if not on fate..?

Karma is another thing...which people swear by...and say...you shall reap what you sow...but having seen many instances of innocent, good, moralistic, and pious people being caught in tragedies and pain...I don't think it really has much a say in our lives...!

So that gets us back to Fate...

As I climbed the steep staircase of my imagination...I saw a big, heavy oak door ...the likes of what you see in Harry Potter movies...labelled FATE.

With an ominous feeling I stared at the four-lettered label and slowly raised my hand to push the door open... Expecting the door to open with a loud creek...I was surprised to feel the door giving away smoothly.

The sudden light almost blinded me as I stepped inside...but then in a minute...it was gone..my eyes returned to normal...and I could clearly see in the dimly lit hall.
Looking around...I was taken aback!

The hall looked straight out of a Hollywood techno movie! The walls were filled with little screens, each with a stylish analogue watch in the corner and a small hanging pendulum that shined like gold. As I moved in front of a screen, it sprang to life...and one could watch a movie with full sound effects.

Getting bewildered by the minute, I moved forward ...watching the action...which was more thrilling than any Hollywood or Bollywood movie combined together...I knew ...that these were real lives...each second of which was captured by a greater camera and a higher resolution lens than anything we could think of.

Stopping at one of the screens, a young girl fiercely typing on a laptop in a well-lit high-rise office caught my attention. She was chatting with someone and her eyes were filled with tears...The screen split in two and I could see a young man chatting with her, sitting in the balcony of an old house in the middle of the night. They seemed on the verge of splitting up...after years of togetherness...

As I looked on...the pendulum suddenly starting swinging...and the screen changed into two still images...one was of them standing arm-in-arm, in a church getting married...and the other was of the girl sitting alone at a beach and the guy happily looking at another girl sitting beside him!

The pendulum kept swinging as their fingers flew on their respective keyboards...As I waited for them to make their choice, there was a loud shriek from the small analogue clock in the corner...making me jump!

The next moment, to my horror.... I saw the girl's huge office exploding and shattering into little pieces of glass and cement!

The TV headlines of 9/11 flashed in my mind!!

Putting a break on the wild wings of my imagination, I came back to reality with a thud!!

Fate or not...I REALLY don't want to know anymore...

From the eyes of a fairy...

In the fairyland, it was the little blue fairy's turn to to take a round of the earth and see the amazing life of the earthlings by herself. The little fairy was very excited at this opportunity and felt really lucky to have been chosen for it at such a young age! She knew that this opportunity came only once in a blue moon…and since the number of fairies was increasing day-by-day …due to the increase in number of people dying on earth…it was becoming a chance in a lifetime!
She knew how the veterans of the fairyland ached and hoped for such a day and how those who had been on this trip…came back and yearned for another chance.
When the time came for the lucky draw for choosing the countries that she could visit…which was only limited to one, she could almost hear her little heart thudding away. She had seen the colourful earth many a times from the telescopes installed in the astrological room of the fairyland and wondered about the people living in different parts of that planet. She knew different parts of the earth were called countries and each fairy was only allowed to visit one country at a time.
As the country's name was read out….there was a loud cheer among the fairies…and she almost missed India's name. India…was a country that most of the fairies craved to visit!! Thanking her stars and the elders of the fairyland…the little blue fairy left the palace to prepare for her trip.
As she bade goodbye to her envious friends and excitedly dived into the clouds for her descent, she could already fill the adrenaline pumping inside her …and imagine herself coming back and reciting wonderful stories to all… The round colourful planet seemed bigger and nearer and she could hear different sounds and voices from the subcontinent of her destination.
The first thing that a fairy needed to do as soon as she reaches her destination is to send a ARRIVED SAFELY sign to the fairyland and this is possible only from a structure that was a symbol of the country's power and governance…
In India, the little fairy headed for the parliament's roof…
Being invisible to the human eye, she easily reached the place and started the ritual of sending signals to the fairyland ....but the constant noises and disorder from within distracted her…
Peeping inside, she saw the Finance Minister presenting the Budget for the year….! "What a day to arrive!" she thought.
After finally sending the sign and completing the ritual, the fairy went inside to hear the details and figure out what the budget was all about…
The technicalities didn’t make much sense to her….but one thing which she was really curious about it was the term "AAM AADMI". Who and what was this "AAM AADMI"? She found out that it meant "the common man" but what she didn’t understand was the amount of fuss that was created about it? Isn’t a country's budget supposed to be targeted at the common man?? What was so unique about this one that it had caught the fancy of all and sundry and she could hear the term being flashed in TV channels and websites over and over again and people debating and discussing it at length??
Leaving the issue for Indians to fret about…the little blue fairy caught the sound of a rhythmic video …called "Mere Sang", in which a girl who looked like a fairy herself was dancing…
Trying hard to keep her feet from tapping…she felt her spirits lifting at the sound of the good music!
At the same time, she heard the sounds of a mother praying for the quick recovery of her son who had gone to study to Australia and had been beaten up for being brown-skinned!
The little blue fairy was bewildered and amazed! How can the skin of one’s color evoke such a reaction and situation?!
Looking at her own blue skin, she thought about the numerous colored fairies in the fairyland...who each had a different skin color and wondered what would have happened to them...had they been living on earth!
As she moved further, she was saddened to see some dead bodies being taken out of a debris....which she found was due to a factory blast! The families of the victims were wailing in sorrow....
She wanted to console them and tell them that they needn’t cry so much as the good souls would turn into little fairies and live in the beautiful fairyland and conveniently forget all about their sufferings on earth....but she couldn’t...so she moved on..
Touching another part of the country, she suddenly came into the tinsel town that she had heard so much about... as she spanned over the new and shining sea link….and heard some people praising and some fretting over it….she saw the poster of an actor on a billboard that had been blackened. Figuring out the name of the actor as Shiney Ahuja…she was taken aback to find out that he has recently been charged of raping his maid!!
Hearing this, the little blue fairy suddenly felt very exhausted…no one had prepared her for such a gruelling turn of events in a single day…
Deciding to calling it a day…she looked for a cool and soothing place to take a nap.....and reached the famous Band Stand...
As she absorbed the refreshing smell of the sea waters and the lulling sound of the waves....she saw a commotion nearby ...two young men were fighting with a policeman...
Moving forward she found out that the policeman had made some comment at the two men, sitting and holding hands on the rocks at the beach....and now the two men were abusing him!
Befounded....the fairy thought to help them sort it out ..but when she found out that there was nothing “illegal” about it, she let it be.....
Sighing, she fluttered her tired wings, and closed her eyes!!!

Bitter sweet events of the week

While the week started off with the end to a wonderful trip to the city of dreams...it was full of eventful days and nights that add to the list of unforgettable memories of life..

Celebrating my mom's b'day amid close and extended family after 20 years was the main highlight of the week! :) Makes you realize how important is family and relatives and how good it feels to be among people who are your well-wishers and a part of you!

Falling and bruising badly of the domestic help....and spending 2 hours in the hospital with her...and praying for her to open her eyes...made me realize how vulnerable one is in the hands of mishaps.

Being hit by a truck at 10.30 in the night and then catching the fleeing truck driver and fighting with him for an hour...was the other incident that shook me...Though the extreme damage to the car made me angry and frustrated....I thanked God that only the car had dented and bruised ...and all of us were fine...especially because there were 3 kids in the car at that time!!

But thankfully, the week ended with a happy note ....with us hosting a surprise b’day dinner for a friend who had faced a tremendous tragedy recently...and would probably have spent the night alone... lost in memories of the past...The smile on her face...made me forget the rest of the unpleasantness that I had faced...
Just a manifestation of the saying...”Life is like that”... makes you realize...how a dull and boring life can seem appealing ... after going though one incident after the other!

So here I am ...waiting for everything to fall in its place...and go back to my day-to-day mundane routine... of going to office, coming back home, attending to household chores and shopping for groceries... seems far better than the recent happenings... :)

The sea and the rocks

Salty winds in my hair....and sun in my eyes....
Hopping on the rocks...as I walk towards the sea... I have the exhilarated feeling of freedom and carefreeness..that only nature can cause...
The feeling that makes you forget the heavy traffic, the noise pollution, the humidity that makes your clothes cling to you and the numerous tensions that you have in your mind!
The raging waves act as a balm on your nerves....and the still grey water revive your energies...
For the first time I felt envious of Mumbaikars...who have easy access to the sea...and can come and enjoy this blessing of nature whenever they feel like...

Behind the scenes...

When you watch controversial events of the world unfold on TV, newspapers, and the websites...you wonder...what's actually going on behind the scenes?

Similarly, in our day-to-day lives...if we look deep enough...we can often witness a lot of "behind the scene" actions, thoughts, turmoil, and desperate situations....

Recently I came across a few situations that made me think of possibilities that might be...

- A married couple having dinner at a posh restaurant...clearly with nothing to say to one another...after having discussed the menu and placed the order.

- An over enthusiastic domestic help lying after being caught red-handed while smuggling food for her children.

- A friend insisting on accompanying another for shopping on a weekend...while leaving his family behind.

- A mother and daughter's planned vacation to another city.

- Planning a dinner date with a friend as soon as the spouse decides to go out of town.

- Preponing a resignation by two months.

- A supposedly happy visit by a cousin.

- Posting of photos and videos of political upheavals on Facebook.

- A heated discussion on "racism" over lunch between an Indian and a British colleague.

- A friend taking offence to an out-of-town trip invite by her boyfriend.

- A child's constant cries for attention resulting in a tight slap from her mother.

-A husband's unexpected show of affection and the look of surprise on the wife's face.

The reality of what is going on behind these scenes....is only known to the people involved...

But sometimes it really isn't that difficult to make a guess...and hit the nail on the butt!! :)

A singing session

Just had a nice singing session with a friend while driving back home...

Made me realize that how much we as kids...in school and college ...used to enjoy the Antakshri sessions!!!

During the summer vacations ...all of us...cousins, aunts, uncles.... used to gather at my grandparents huge house in a small city near Lucknow...and sleep under the stars in the big veranda....under the colorful mosquito nets...

Divided into two groups....while the elders used to sing Mohd. Rafi, Shamshad Begum, and Lata Mangeshkar...we the kids...used to burst into the latest songs of Mithun Da's movies....making the elders cringe at the lyrics...which as compared to the lyrics of today...sound almost Victorian now!

But really the days of IPODs, FMs, MP3 Players, songs playing on the cellphone are slowly...eroding the lovely time pass of olden days...

As the saying goes, technology has its pros and cons...Its in your hand ... how much of it should you consider enough....and how many things are you prepared to give up...

Compulsive liars!

What is it that makes some of us lie even when there is no need to?

I read somewhere that compulsive lying is a situation where a person keeps on lying with no reason or motivation.

Seems strange...but I am sure many of us have come across such people...

Some of them can be our own friends and acquaintances..who otherwise are normal and nice people....but can amaze, amuse and sometimes annoy you with this habit of theirs.

I am sure all of us lie or have lied many times in life...

I myself have utilized this negative trait mostly because of one of the following reasons:

- To save myself from embarrassment/threat/anger
- To save someone else from embarrassment/threat/anger
- To hide some facts that I didn't want disclosed
- To control the situation from getting out of hand

But when I come across people who lie easily because of no rhyme or reason...I am really surprised...why should you lie when there is no need to...especially when you know there is a strong chance that your lie will be found out???
Don't they think ...that their lies regarding an insignificant issue ...especially when something can be verified .... can actually belittle them in others eyes...and make others doubt their credibility?

Maybe it is really a disorder...and the person in question...needs help...

Love and Hate

They say until you fall in love...you don't know how its really like...

From my own experience, I would say until you hate someone...you don’t know what its really like!

Love has been described, talked about and eulogized since centuries…but what about hatred? Why have people not written much on hatred…a feeling much stronger than love…which if envelopes someone ...is really difficult to get rid of it!!

Recently, I am going through this awful, all-encompassing feeling…occupying major part of my heart and mind….! It is really strange but all my life…I have never encountered this feeling before! What I thought of as hatred at different points of my life …now seems so insignificant…in contrast with this feeling…

Trying very hard not to give way to this bitter feeling…which of course…leaves a real bad taste, not only in your mouth but also in the imprints of your mind…I am not being very successful….

So, I am repeating the following to myself:
• Forgive and Forget!
• Forgiving is divine!
• Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much!
• A wise man will make haste to forgive…!

But you only forgive when the other person is sorry or at least realizes his or her mistake…and tries not to repeat…but here I don’t see any such reactions…..there I go again…..can't get over this feeling…

Funny, how we think its very difficult to get over someone you LOVE...
Believe me...its far more difficult to get over a person you HATE!!

Thoughts and more thoughts....

A close friend nearing a nervous breakdown....after facing 2-3 personal and emotional upheavals recently.....
Making me think...how can life treat someone to so much misery in such a short span of time...and how easy its to lose one's mind...and change to a unrecognisable self!!

A performance.by tiny tots...all dressed up in their finery...trying their best to look older and smarter than their years....
Making me think...how we long to be older and wiser when we are young...and then wish...the days of the golden childhood...had never ended....

A new friendship with an old college mate...someone I never thought I could ever be friends with.....
Making me think how much one changes over years...and how perceptions not only about others can deceive you....but also about yourself!!

A sweet colleague facing a real bad time but showing a strong and cheerful face every day at office..working with zest as always...not letting anyone guess the huge misery in her personal life ...
Making me think...being positive is not easy....its an art that only a few people can master!

An SMS about a friend's niece ...bidding farewell to her young life after ...7 years of struggle to be like other children around her...
Making me think...Does everything really has a reason?

The result of an election...erupting clashes among the youth...and those who wished and hoped for a change....and freedom!
Making me think ... how we in India take freedom in all senses for granted...and don't realize there are thousands in the world who just yearn to make people hear what they want to say!

Some promises to a friend...
A few plans with another...
And some waiting books...

Making me think.....and ponder....and write...

Chased by misunderstandings

Have you ever felt hunted....followed by one or the other misunderstandings whereever you go?
Whatever you do...with full honesty....and clear conscious....suddenly is taken with suspicion...and negativity....?
I am sure many of us have faced this situation sometime or other in our lives...
The trick lies in not letting it affect you and managing to come out of it unscarred and with a smile, and at the same time keeping your relationships.....afloat.....
Sounds easy? Believe me...it isn't!!
To quote one example....I saw a recent official meeting turning into a blame game...where someone was blaming and almost accusing the other of doing something...that the other was really shocked to hear! Because as far as the other person was concerned...he never meant any of his actions to be taken as the way they had been ....and had in all honesty ....just been himself! :)
Seeing the shocked reactions on his face and the incredulous look in his eyes...I felt sorry for the poor guy....who was being accused of not being a team player and non-communication....by a girl who was just his opposite...in terms of attitude and behaviour!
This is what happens when we read too much in each others actions, words, behaviour....without giving them a benefit of doubt and bothering to ask them directly instead of throwing accusations at them!

I also faced something similar recently...
Where a friend read too much into my actions and mistook it for a personal offence ....whereas I had only acted with no such intentions.....
And being me...I HATE justifying something ...which I think is no fault of mine....

So, what are we left with??
A hurt friend...
A hurt and bewildered me
And a wavering relationship.....

Sigh!!!!

My Marriage is Over- Part 1

As soon as I met my close friend for coffee today and said, Hi!....she said: My Marriage is Over...making me sit in a loud thump on the cafe's rickety chair!
What is it that makes a Marriage work?
In today's life when stress levels are rocketing .....and there is hardly any time to put into a relationship.....what is that one can really do to keep a healthy relationship going?
Love marriages....such as the one my friend had....where she thought she had met her soul mate....can come to this... after 10 years....where as she says....none of them has time for each other...and the only time they address each other is when they fight...then what's the guarantee for the numerous arranged marriages taking place in the country?
As I was hearing my friend pour out her heart and spill a few tears over the cold coffee and cake we were sharing.....I was wondering....why is it that we can be excellent in our work, with our friends......even our children.....and do a bit of social work too...but when it comes to relationships with our spouses...nothing is perfect....and 99.9 % people have average or below average married life these days!

To be continued....

Reminder

Have you ever thought what status do "reminders" have in our lives?

Sometimes reminders become absolutely necessary in life....because the pace at which we live life just envelopes us and makes us forget THE ONCE CREATED PRIORITY LIST ...that I am sure everyone has but keeps putting it away.....to read and ponder on later...the later that never comes.....

Today something a friend said...made me suddenly think of MY PRIORITY list..for the sake of which 6 months back...I changed my job ...my career...giving up my comfort zone...!

The priority list that had TIME for MYSELF at the top!

And here I am ...6 months later....as engrossed in work as I was before coming here....with still the same excuses for the things that I wanted to do then.....and couldnt...

Thanks for the reminder, friend....I owe it to you...and I really promise that I will ATLEAST update my blog every other day...if not every day....for the sake of putting down the numerous thoughts that get accumulated and ....slowly get erazed....for the want of putting down ....and being read by someone!!!

Ofcourse, not to forget...I would need a reminder to remind me of this promise!! :)