More?

Week 2 of coming back from a month long office trip and am still disoriented.


Had a huge fight with husband on some petty household issue! Of course, the disappearance of both the house maids on my single off day heated up the argument.

The office doesn't feel exciting anymore too. The same old issues, the same old complaints and the same helplessness. People have salary issues. So do I. But who do I go and whine it to? And how do I promise them a better pay when I, myself, am not sure about my hike.

In the subconscious, I know that I have to be patient but the old nagging feeling is back. If I don’t do something new every single week, it unnerves me. I feel I am not learning anything and not going forward. I wish for complacency but its beyond me….a good thing?…Can't really say in this situation!

The romance on the other side also beckons. But somehow, the charm has gone out of it. Again…there is nothing new to add. Every word, gesture and action is predictable.

Bottom line, I am afflicted with the typical human nature of wanting more.

The only difference is this time, I am wanting for words in quantifying the "more".

Amid the noise....

While driving back home from work today,  I felt a shroud of depression engulfing me. Another routine day gone by amid depressing news of the Delhi victim of gang rape still battling for her life,  more controversies emerging over Const Tomar's death during the demonstrations and people judging, passing sentences and convicting the govt, the police and the demonstrators over Twitter!

To make things worse, my inbox was full of Out of Office responses of people thanking me for my mail and telling me that they will be back in the New Year refreshed from their vacations. Those replies seem to mock my mails listing actions, recommendations, requests or proposals.

Unconsciously, I turned right from my parking lot on my usual route and realised that its after three days that I have finally managed to drive on this route towards India Gate. The thought brought a feeling of relief and I turned up the volume of the car radio.

A programme sponsored by Health and Welfare Ministry was playing on A.I.R FM. The programme dealt with problems of adolescent boys and girls and importance of health, hygiene and awareness in this age!

The presenters did a great job and had a great format! 

As a mother of an eight-year old girl, I listened and did not flip the FM channel and was impressed!

We might still have to deal with a lot of corruption in our system and a lot of problems in our society, We might still feel jittery going out alone in the night and we might have lost to Pakistan on our home ground but life goes on....

And amid all this chaos and negativity, lets not forget we ARE living in the world's biggest democracy where at least everyone is able to speak up, shout their views, their preferences and tweet their criticisms.

And there are still people like the two students who tried to revive the constable even after the police was charging at the demonstrators.

And there are efforts such as a useful radio programme that can impact people's lives.

Lets encourage our children to be courageous like the two students and raise their voices yet be ready to help everyone in need. Let us sensitise them towards the society's problems so that such shameful incidents don't drag India's rich history, culture, civilisation and amazing progress down!

The unexpected end?

Everything that begins....ends one day.

Sometimes its hard to believe it would, but it eventually does.

Even after promises, guarantees and numerous prayers...the end comes when it has to.

When life itself has to end one day...then how can anything connected with it continue?

Its only a matter of time or circumstances.

But as humans we tend to sweep this definite truth to the back of our minds and forget it completely in the intoxicating pulse of the world around us...we experience shock, surprise, unnecessary hassle, gloom, tears and depression!

Till the time the earth is revolving around the Sun...and the world exists...life and everything else with it moves on... halting at various ends and faltering at various beginnings...but then moving on and on...getting absorbed like another atom of life into the vast universe of time.

If we don't let this fact be lost in our dormant grey cells...the word "unexpected" will become slowly extinct...and we will put our full hearts and souls into things that DO matter and not bother about the things that DON'T... eventually working towards making things better before the inevitable End.

Ramblings after the break

Today, tomorrow and the day after....

Wouldn't it be nice if there were only these three days in the entire life....???

What if we only had to think about these three days at the max....and not bother about what will happen a week later, a month later, or a year later...or what happened a week before, a month before, a year before?

So we would go 3-days at a time...
So much less less planning, tensions, efforts...to think of...
But then maybe the happiness and joys would have also lasted for a fewer duration...no memories would have remained for us to carry forward...whether good or bad....

Who knows how the world would have turned out to be .... if all of us were only programmed to think for the next three days of our lives....and then the next three days...and then another three days...no past to ponder...just learn and move forward...just face something and move on....or just do something that you want to and go on...

There are many people who live for the day.... but most of us live for the future and the future always remains THE FUTURE.....some of us also live in the past....always nostalgic about the things and the time...that has gone by....but then it always remains THE PAST...

Either TODAY is lost in the preparation of this future... which never comes....because when it does arrives....we always have a new future that we are aspiring for or TODAY is lost in the reminisces of yesterday.... which can never come back...

God must have written the logarithms for creating humans in a way where the WANTING MORE or SOMETHING NEW never ends...and where when you LOSE SOMETHING you realize how much YOU WANTED IT....

We are never satisfied....and that I believe is also the reason for the human race to have become what we are today.... and evolve through the stone ages....and reach the stars...

If only we had the same control on our hearts and emotions as we have on our brains....we would have made today, tomorrow and day after...the days to live and dream for!

But the contradictions...and loose ends...and complications....of the heart go on....
Leaving us unsure, vulnerable, scared, lonely, and even lost at times....
These feelings command the brain.....to plan and think and calculate for the impending time....that is gonna hit us!

So the investments in pension plans and child plans continue...
The cruise trip gets postponed each time....
EMIs for a bigger house and a swankier car are deducted every month...
Horoscopes mails are subscribed to every year...

Today changes into tomorrow and Tomorrow into day after and Day After into the day after...and so on.

A place called Baku...(Part 2: A peek at the Caspian Sea)

As we crossed the main square where the statue of a man killing a dragon stands, which reminds me of Greek gods…the vastness of the blue sky reflected in the voluptuous waves of the Caspian made me gasp! It was plain and simple beautiful….

This was the Bay of Baku in the Caspian….with the entire city lining the bay.…

Numerous ships dotted the waters….and looked the size of small boats…

The lovely benches… and green trees… and small cafes ....around the area just added to the scenic beauty of the place…

Several couples were necking around the place….as if compelled by the romantic air in the wind….

A cafe styled just like the smaller version of the Opera House of Sydney ....was filled with people...

My camera couldn’t get enough…and kept asking for more…

Looking around with a content smile, I was convinced for the umpteenth time that it is not the snow-peaked mountains nor the lovely sand dunes of the desert or the vast plain terrain of trees that does this to me….makes me have this feeling ….like the feeling of falling in love ….when you start smiling for no reason at all…and suddenly the world feels like a merry-go-round…which intoxicates you and makes you giggle as it takes you for a joy ride!

Whenever I see these water waves, hear the still sound of the sea, breathe in the salty wetness…I feel my heart bursting with joy and a strange freedom….

With my hair flowing all around me, I inhaled the salty-fresh smell of the sea…and looked into the waters and said, “Hello! Do you recognize me?....I am the same little girl …who many years ago …had splashed in your waters…played with her friends…collected your shells….even fished with the elders…and sailed in a boat…in another part of the world….which you inhabit? Can you recall?”