They say until you fall in love...you don't know how its really like...
From my own experience, I would say until you hate someone...you don’t know what its really like!
Love has been described, talked about and eulogized since centuries…but what about hatred? Why have people not written much on hatred…a feeling much stronger than love…which if envelopes someone ...is really difficult to get rid of it!!
Recently, I am going through this awful, all-encompassing feeling…occupying major part of my heart and mind….! It is really strange but all my life…I have never encountered this feeling before! What I thought of as hatred at different points of my life …now seems so insignificant…in contrast with this feeling…
Trying very hard not to give way to this bitter feeling…which of course…leaves a real bad taste, not only in your mouth but also in the imprints of your mind…I am not being very successful….
So, I am repeating the following to myself:
• Forgive and Forget!
• Forgiving is divine!
• Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much!
• A wise man will make haste to forgive…!
But you only forgive when the other person is sorry or at least realizes his or her mistake…and tries not to repeat…but here I don’t see any such reactions…..there I go again…..can't get over this feeling…
Funny, how we think its very difficult to get over someone you LOVE...
Believe me...its far more difficult to get over a person you HATE!!
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Thoughts and more thoughts....
A close friend nearing a nervous breakdown....after facing 2-3 personal and emotional upheavals recently.....
Making me think...how can life treat someone to so much misery in such a short span of time...and how easy its to lose one's mind...and change to a unrecognisable self!!
A performance.by tiny tots...all dressed up in their finery...trying their best to look older and smarter than their years....
Making me think...how we long to be older and wiser when we are young...and then wish...the days of the golden childhood...had never ended....
A new friendship with an old college mate...someone I never thought I could ever be friends with.....
Making me think how much one changes over years...and how perceptions not only about others can deceive you....but also about yourself!!
A sweet colleague facing a real bad time but showing a strong and cheerful face every day at office..working with zest as always...not letting anyone guess the huge misery in her personal life ...
Making me think...being positive is not easy....its an art that only a few people can master!
An SMS about a friend's niece ...bidding farewell to her young life after ...7 years of struggle to be like other children around her...
Making me think...Does everything really has a reason?
The result of an election...erupting clashes among the youth...and those who wished and hoped for a change....and freedom!
Making me think ... how we in India take freedom in all senses for granted...and don't realize there are thousands in the world who just yearn to make people hear what they want to say!
Some promises to a friend...
A few plans with another...
And some waiting books...
Making me think.....and ponder....and write...
Making me think...how can life treat someone to so much misery in such a short span of time...and how easy its to lose one's mind...and change to a unrecognisable self!!
A performance.by tiny tots...all dressed up in their finery...trying their best to look older and smarter than their years....
Making me think...how we long to be older and wiser when we are young...and then wish...the days of the golden childhood...had never ended....
A new friendship with an old college mate...someone I never thought I could ever be friends with.....
Making me think how much one changes over years...and how perceptions not only about others can deceive you....but also about yourself!!
A sweet colleague facing a real bad time but showing a strong and cheerful face every day at office..working with zest as always...not letting anyone guess the huge misery in her personal life ...
Making me think...being positive is not easy....its an art that only a few people can master!
An SMS about a friend's niece ...bidding farewell to her young life after ...7 years of struggle to be like other children around her...
Making me think...Does everything really has a reason?
The result of an election...erupting clashes among the youth...and those who wished and hoped for a change....and freedom!
Making me think ... how we in India take freedom in all senses for granted...and don't realize there are thousands in the world who just yearn to make people hear what they want to say!
Some promises to a friend...
A few plans with another...
And some waiting books...
Making me think.....and ponder....and write...
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Chased by misunderstandings
Have you ever felt hunted....followed by one or the other misunderstandings whereever you go?
Whatever you do...with full honesty....and clear conscious....suddenly is taken with suspicion...and negativity....?
I am sure many of us have faced this situation sometime or other in our lives...
The trick lies in not letting it affect you and managing to come out of it unscarred and with a smile, and at the same time keeping your relationships.....afloat.....
Sounds easy? Believe me...it isn't!!
To quote one example....I saw a recent official meeting turning into a blame game...where someone was blaming and almost accusing the other of doing something...that the other was really shocked to hear! Because as far as the other person was concerned...he never meant any of his actions to be taken as the way they had been ....and had in all honesty ....just been himself! :)
Seeing the shocked reactions on his face and the incredulous look in his eyes...I felt sorry for the poor guy....who was being accused of not being a team player and non-communication....by a girl who was just his opposite...in terms of attitude and behaviour!
This is what happens when we read too much in each others actions, words, behaviour....without giving them a benefit of doubt and bothering to ask them directly instead of throwing accusations at them!
I also faced something similar recently...
Where a friend read too much into my actions and mistook it for a personal offence ....whereas I had only acted with no such intentions.....
And being me...I HATE justifying something ...which I think is no fault of mine....
So, what are we left with??
A hurt friend...
A hurt and bewildered me
And a wavering relationship.....
Sigh!!!!
Whatever you do...with full honesty....and clear conscious....suddenly is taken with suspicion...and negativity....?
I am sure many of us have faced this situation sometime or other in our lives...
The trick lies in not letting it affect you and managing to come out of it unscarred and with a smile, and at the same time keeping your relationships.....afloat.....
Sounds easy? Believe me...it isn't!!
To quote one example....I saw a recent official meeting turning into a blame game...where someone was blaming and almost accusing the other of doing something...that the other was really shocked to hear! Because as far as the other person was concerned...he never meant any of his actions to be taken as the way they had been ....and had in all honesty ....just been himself! :)
Seeing the shocked reactions on his face and the incredulous look in his eyes...I felt sorry for the poor guy....who was being accused of not being a team player and non-communication....by a girl who was just his opposite...in terms of attitude and behaviour!
This is what happens when we read too much in each others actions, words, behaviour....without giving them a benefit of doubt and bothering to ask them directly instead of throwing accusations at them!
I also faced something similar recently...
Where a friend read too much into my actions and mistook it for a personal offence ....whereas I had only acted with no such intentions.....
And being me...I HATE justifying something ...which I think is no fault of mine....
So, what are we left with??
A hurt friend...
A hurt and bewildered me
And a wavering relationship.....
Sigh!!!!
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
My Marriage is Over- Part 1
As soon as I met my close friend for coffee today and said, Hi!....she said: My Marriage is Over...making me sit in a loud thump on the cafe's rickety chair!
What is it that makes a Marriage work?
In today's life when stress levels are rocketing .....and there is hardly any time to put into a relationship.....what is that one can really do to keep a healthy relationship going?
Love marriages....such as the one my friend had....where she thought she had met her soul mate....can come to this... after 10 years....where as she says....none of them has time for each other...and the only time they address each other is when they fight...then what's the guarantee for the numerous arranged marriages taking place in the country?
As I was hearing my friend pour out her heart and spill a few tears over the cold coffee and cake we were sharing.....I was wondering....why is it that we can be excellent in our work, with our friends......even our children.....and do a bit of social work too...but when it comes to relationships with our spouses...nothing is perfect....and 99.9 % people have average or below average married life these days!
To be continued....
What is it that makes a Marriage work?
In today's life when stress levels are rocketing .....and there is hardly any time to put into a relationship.....what is that one can really do to keep a healthy relationship going?
Love marriages....such as the one my friend had....where she thought she had met her soul mate....can come to this... after 10 years....where as she says....none of them has time for each other...and the only time they address each other is when they fight...then what's the guarantee for the numerous arranged marriages taking place in the country?
As I was hearing my friend pour out her heart and spill a few tears over the cold coffee and cake we were sharing.....I was wondering....why is it that we can be excellent in our work, with our friends......even our children.....and do a bit of social work too...but when it comes to relationships with our spouses...nothing is perfect....and 99.9 % people have average or below average married life these days!
To be continued....
Reminder
Have you ever thought what status do "reminders" have in our lives?
Sometimes reminders become absolutely necessary in life....because the pace at which we live life just envelopes us and makes us forget THE ONCE CREATED PRIORITY LIST ...that I am sure everyone has but keeps putting it away.....to read and ponder on later...the later that never comes.....
Today something a friend said...made me suddenly think of MY PRIORITY list..for the sake of which 6 months back...I changed my job ...my career...giving up my comfort zone...!
The priority list that had TIME for MYSELF at the top!
And here I am ...6 months later....as engrossed in work as I was before coming here....with still the same excuses for the things that I wanted to do then.....and couldnt...
Thanks for the reminder, friend....I owe it to you...and I really promise that I will ATLEAST update my blog every other day...if not every day....for the sake of putting down the numerous thoughts that get accumulated and ....slowly get erazed....for the want of putting down ....and being read by someone!!!
Ofcourse, not to forget...I would need a reminder to remind me of this promise!! :)
Sometimes reminders become absolutely necessary in life....because the pace at which we live life just envelopes us and makes us forget THE ONCE CREATED PRIORITY LIST ...that I am sure everyone has but keeps putting it away.....to read and ponder on later...the later that never comes.....
Today something a friend said...made me suddenly think of MY PRIORITY list..for the sake of which 6 months back...I changed my job ...my career...giving up my comfort zone...!
The priority list that had TIME for MYSELF at the top!
And here I am ...6 months later....as engrossed in work as I was before coming here....with still the same excuses for the things that I wanted to do then.....and couldnt...
Thanks for the reminder, friend....I owe it to you...and I really promise that I will ATLEAST update my blog every other day...if not every day....for the sake of putting down the numerous thoughts that get accumulated and ....slowly get erazed....for the want of putting down ....and being read by someone!!!
Ofcourse, not to forget...I would need a reminder to remind me of this promise!! :)
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